


Soul Friends With Benefits

by kesdax



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 04:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12226167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kesdax/pseuds/kesdax
Summary: “I might legit be into Tahani.”Or, that time Eleanor and Tahani were soul mates.





	Soul Friends With Benefits

Eleanor could only stare, mouth hanging open and drool making its way undignifiedly down her chin, as she looked at the tall, dark skinned woman Michael had presented to her.

“Nice,” she said, when eventually she found her voice and could speak.  Inside she thought, _holy shit_ and was too busy leaning into the hug - maddeningly, wonderfully somehow both erotic and comforting at the same time - that Tahani greeted her with that she didn't dwell on why it sounded like _holy shirt_ and why all of a sudden _fuck me please_ was _fork me please._

Death was forking weird.

*

“It’s a little smaller than I'm used to.”

“Mhm,” said Eleanor, trying not to let her displeasure at the clown nook in the corner show.

“But I can - _we_ \- can get used to it,” said Tahani, twirling around for one last look at the small cottage. Her dress swished around her knees and Eleanor couldn't drag her eyes away from long, smooth legs.

_Focus._

Eleanor’s eyes dragged upwards until she was facing Tahani straight on. Which ended up being worse - or better, depending on your perspective - when she got an eye full of cleavage. _Definitely better._

So much for staying focused.

“Tahani,” said Eleanor and wasn't surprised when her voice came out much higher than usual. “My soul mate, my love, my soon-to-be-hopefully-naked-and-welcoming-when-I-accidentally-but-not-really-walk-in-on-you-in-the-shower-person…”

Tahani stared.

“I'll come back to that last point,” said Eleanor with a wave of her hand. “You’ll stand by me, no matter what, right?”

“Of course, my darling.” Tahani took her hand, squeezing it tightly between both her own. It felt nice. Comforting. Warm. Eleanor couldn't help but wonder what the rest of Tahani’s skin felt like. “As I said to my dear friend, Rihanna; I'm here for you no matter what.”

“Great!” said Eleanor. “Cause someone forked up big time and I'm not supposed to be here.”

*

“Mmmmm,” Eleanor groaned as Janet teased the tension out of her muscles. “You got the hands of an angel, babe.”

Eleanor's eyes suddenly flew open and she sat up. The towel covering her waist slid off and hit floor. She didn't bother covering herself up.

“Wait. Are angels a thing?”

“Eleanor,” said Tahani, not quite able to keep the scolding tone from her voice. “ _Darling_. We agreed couples massage would be quiet getting to know each other time. Not time for asking Janet silly questions.”

Eleanor rolled her eyes.

“Janet, be a dear and get more of the cucumber water, will you?” said Tahani and Janet disappeared in a flash, reappearing in less time than it took to blink with a tray carrying two glasses and a large jug of ice cold water, slices of cucumber floating on the surface. She placed it on the bench between the two massage tables.

“I'll prepare the face masks now,” said Janet and bowl of green goop materialised in her hand.

No way in hell was Eleanor letting her put that crap on her face. It looked like the morning after her first night as a college freshman. Eleanor had never been able to remember or work out where the green had come from.

Tahani sipped at her cucumber water, lips smacking together in delight. She was lying on her back, eyes closed and looking thoroughly relaxed and not bored out of her mind.

 _Being a good person means doing stuff for others even if you don't like it,_ she remembered from one of Chidi’s many ethics lessons. She bit back a complaint and sighed. With Janet’s hands gone and Tahani covering herself in a fluffy dressing gown in an almost prudish manner, Eleanor was beyond bored.

“How about some music?” said Eleanor. _Anything to pass the time quicker please._

“No!”

“Alright, geez,” said Eleanor and lay back down. “What’s your problem with a little background death metal?”

She could feel the weight of Tahani’s glare burn her skin.

“Drink your cucumber water.”

Eleanor stuck out her tongue, but Tahani was no longer paying attention to her.

*

“This is just typical of you,” said Tahani angrily.

They were arguing. Again.

In Eleanor’s defence, this time it was all Chidi’s fault. She noticed he had disappeared quickly as soon as Tahani started yelling.

“How _dare_ you,” said Eleanor. She managed to sound at least mildly offended. Then the yelling got louder, from both of them.

Every annoyance, every grievance they'd had to put up with from the other since arriving in the Good Place, came to light with a force not dissimilar to the headlights of the truck that had ploughed into Eleanor, effectively ending her chill (if not exactly perfect but at least mediocre - in Eleanor’s own honorable, if somewhat biased, opinion) existence and bringing her here, to a place where she really didn't belong and yet really did not want to leave.

Something about being tortured for the rest of eternity kinda put a damper on the whole “life after death” thing.

The lights overhead exploded in a shatter of glass and light, interrupting Tahani mid-rant. Beneath Eleanor’s feet, the floor began to rumble, building up with force until, mercifully, it shook some of the clown paintings off the wall.

An earthquake.

Well _that_ was new.

“Oh my god,” said Tahani faintly, staring around them at the mess while struggling fruitlessly to stay on her feet. “You’ve broken the world.”

“What do you mean _me_?” said Eleanor. “ _You_ started it.”

As if to disprove her point, the ground lurched like the deck of a ship, sending Tahani and Eleanor crashing into each other.

It took a moment to untangle themselves and when Eleanor was finally free and at a safe distance from Tahani’s alluring scent, she conceded that Tahani might have a point after all.

“Fork,” said Eleanor and the ground rumbled again.

“Would you _stop_ doing that,” Tahani hissed.

“Fork fork fork fork fork forking.”

Bits of plaster fell from the ceiling, showering them like snow.

Tahani glared. “Eleanor-”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” said Eleanor. “You wanna do that thing where we’re arguing and it's suddenly super hot and we should make out.”

“That is _not_ what I was going to say.”

“Cos I would totally be into that.”

*

Skin on skin. A beautiful contrast between dark and light. Pleasure thrummed through every nerve in Eleanor’s body until every cell was alight with it.

Sex was _way_ better in the Good Place. Like, way way better.

“Well fork me,” said Eleanor, still out of breath. Her chest heaved trying to get air into her lungs.

“I just did,” said Tahani. There was a grin in her eyes that Eleanor had never seen before. She liked it. A lot.

“Do me again,” said Eleanor and pulled Tahani down so she could crash their lips together once again. But Tahani pulled away before Eleanor could really get going. She whined in frustration.

“You’ve had your turn.”

“Turn?” said Eleanor, her eyes rolling in their sockets. “ _Turn_. What is this, Scrabble?” She gestured Tahani towards her impatiently. “Come on, I ain't got all night.”

Tahani scowled. “Ugh, you’re such a… such an _orange_ hogger.”

Eleanor’s mouth dropped open in legitimate offence. “ _You're_ an orange hogger,” she retorted without thought and, under her breath, added, “We can't even say orange now?” She glanced around the room as if expecting Janet to appear and explain this latest Good Place etiquette she had discovered. But it remained just the two of them.

“Hardly,” said Tahani. “I haven't had one yet.”

“Oh, relax,” said Eleanor, waving her hand absently. “You'll get your _turn_.”

Tahani’s features crinkled into a frown, then stilled.

Several moments passed and she still hadn’t moved.

“Um…” said Eleanor, waving a hand in front of Tahani’s face. She didn't even blink.

Then, all of a sudden, she gasped, “ _Oh my God_.”

“Wow,” said Eleanor, staring at her with a smirk. “I knew I was good, but not _that_ good. I wasn't even touching you.”

“What?” said Tahani. A second later she realised what Eleanor was implying. “ _No!_ ”

“So you didn't just…” Eleanor said with disappointment. “Ya know… _orange._ ”

Tahani blinked at her like she couldn't believe Eleanor was still speaking. “No. Don't you get it?”

“Get what?” she grumbled, confused and quickly losing the heat that had built up in her body. Tahani could be just as much of a turn _off_.

“This isn't the Good Place.”

“Huh?” said Eleanor. She looked at Tahani as if she had just announced she was once a banana in a former life. “What are you-” she began and then everything clicked into place with a loud _thump_.

(She chose to ignore the last of the clown paintings that had just fallen to the floor.)

“Oh. My. God.” said Eleanor as if she had just worked everything out by herself without Tahani’s help. “We’re in the Bad Place.”


End file.
